Monday, January 26, 2009

Your husband must be proud you're white?

Now, don't judge me to quickly by my title. I am white and I am ok with that. I did however have three uncomfortable experiences today which will help explain my ridiculous title.
So, we are at Sams Club, looking for the "ladies" (aka the people who hand out free samples), buying milk and then stopping to eat hot dogs before we leave. I love to have the kids eat sams club hot dogs and then go home for naps--I don't have to make lunch, or clean up afterward; lunch is just one meal too many for me sometimes.
We are sitting and the girls are enjoying their hot dogs and soda, while I am holding Cole and he is enjoying his drink of water through a straw.
Telise cuts her toes at some point, but she doesn't realize it when she does it, just when she sits down and starts playing with her shoes, she puts her foot on the table to show off her pathetic toe and so i remind her that feet do not go on tables. She bends her knee and puts her foot on the bench next to her. The man at the table next to us covers his eyes and starts to loudly say "mam, mam" in my direction. I look at him and he informed me that the little girl should be covering herself with her skirt, and that he's afraid of what he might be able to see.
(Thought: She has shorts on underneath, she's five, you must be a pervert if this is so uncomfortable for you--heck, she's just trying to nurse her bloody toe).
I told him that i thought there were shorts underneath and that she hurt her toe. He tells me that he doesn't know if there are shorts, he hasn't looked, he doesn't want to look.
I calmly ask Telise to please put her leg down (Telise's eyes met might with a look of confusion and worry that she was in trouble-poor kid--one more thing boys never have to think about--well, except for this guy)
We continue to enjoy our gourmet lunch when the same man says to me "It is great to see such a nice family" I am already leery of this guy and if I weren't outnumbered 3 to 1 i would have probably gotten up and changed table by now, so i quietly reply "thanks" to which he......(interjection:I have to apologize for even putting this into print, it was bad enough to experience it, anyways, here goes:) he continues, "It is great to see such a nice white family (thought: did he just call us a white family--I don't think I have ever been defined as such before, and don't worry, he continues:), so many couples today are interracial and mixed. It is great to see such a pure WHITE (there's that word again) family."
to which I reply, ____________(i had many thoughts of what to say, I remember thinking, he isn't the type to back down or even listen and me with three kids in tow would have taken 20 minutes to get us all out of there anyways. I didn't speak up, in some ways I wish I had, I was so taken back by his remarks and so shocked that i didn't know what to do. I think i would have been more ready to deal with this remark had i not just dealt with the whole skirt issue and i was weirded out by him before any of this--it does help that my girls are too young to understand any of what he said--i think if their perceptions were on the line I wouldn't have hesitated) I ignored him, did not respond and started goading my girls to eat faster and faster so we could get the heck out of here.
AND THAT WAS UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION NUMBER 2 (I do have to admit that when he started saying these things, i thought--pure race huh, i love my kids, but one has to wonder if races were mixed more, would cole's disease exist less since 2/3rds of those with his disease are white males?--random thought i know)and on to situation three....
The girls finally finish their hot dogs and are shocked at mom's leniency on how much they had to eat(I had to be lenient, i wanted out of there as fast as possible). We stand up and start to load everyone into the cart when this man's wife yells out "god bless you and yours"(did i fail to mention that his wife and daughter were there for the entire event?) and i say goodbye when the man speaks up again (thought: What more could this man have to say to me? really, what else would there possibly be?)"your husband must be proud"
WHAT? Proud of what? Proud I am white, proud his kids came out white? Newsflash, this just in, when you are white and your husband is white and there is no infidelity--the kids are.......wait for it......WHITE. I hope paul is proud I am white, I have worked so hard to be that. Thank heavens some man on the street is noticing all my sacrifices and rewards me on my whiteness (that was sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell)
yes, i am white, yes, my kids are white, and yes my husband is white....WHO CARES? SERIOUSLY? WHO CARES? I am a person, i am a child of God, I am equal to everyone else and don't congratulate me on something i was born with, on something I cant control. IS it possible to be proud of someone for nothing? For just existing in a certain color skin. I have so much more to me than the color of my skin.
I have said before how harsh i think some people can be on the white race as a whole. If everyone they met was like this man, you might think their words would be justified, but if you look a little deeper you would think that would leave a taste in their mouth of wanting to be compassionate to all people no matter what their race.


Mel said...

Oh my gosh! That's all I have to say!

Steph said...

yikes. maybe he's racist and upset about the whole Obama thing. who knows. i'm glad you're my friend and not a mormon and i don't really care that you're white. i do care that you're tall and blonde, but white? who cares.

Steph said...

HAHAHA i meant "Moron" not Mormon. hahahahaha

nice one zundel.

Chambers said...

I'm so glad Steph clarified cause I was so confused for a second, wondering what you'd done to get exed :)

That man should move out my way...he'd get shot within the month.

Chambers said...

OH, and my father-in-law got food poisoning from a Sam's hot dog a few weeks ago and was in the hospital for 2 1/2 days. Those things must be bad luck!

M+J said...

Eek. It's as bad re-reading it as it was hearing your recount of it the first time. I'm gonna have Matt read your account of craziness.

james n mary said...

WOW missy, you're kidding right?!? of course you're NOT kidding!!! that dude, i would have decked him right then and there. of course, i've got a mean streak!!! lol!

total side note, but i do get a lot of no-so-nice comments when james and i are out since we're a mixed couple (even when Fox is with us!).

oh well, takes all kinds of people huh!

Lee,Rebekah said...

It's great to see you post again! That man is crazy! I am impressed you could hold your tongue. What a jerk!

Brandis said...

Holy smokes, that is unbelievable. Do people hear themselves?? Any one of those things would be a lot to swallow but you hit the jackpot getting all of that at once!

bryceandjamie said...

Hmm... definitely not your average Costco experience.

Diane said...

holy creepy wierd man!! ewww..
that's why i stay home-- just kidding.. i'm just lazy :0)

Angie said...

(Brian) I am only friends with you because you and Paul are white..... And you make some good chocolate chip cookies.

Jen and Alec said...

I still can't believe that guy. I love the way you wrote it up, though. I felt like I was inside your head during the whole experience. Maybe you'll have to upgrade to Costco.

Linsi said...

Hi Missy! Do you remember me from the Colony? I found your blog through Kristalyn's. Oh my goodness--what a freaky guy!!! I think I would have bad dreams for a week!

hlmortensen said...

wow. interesting. all sorts of people out there! i love how you said, "i have worked so hard to be white", that was great Missy sarcasm at it's best! ;) Hope you are doing better after your weird trip to Sams.

hlmortensen said...

Hey Missy, our blog is going private, email me so I have your email address to send you an invite.
Heidi ;)